spirling up

Copyright - August 16, 1998
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spiriling up

i am a tomb buried

in a spiril of pleasure

the journey goes

deeper into the dark
a place where only
the mind exists

a journey of pain

brings me there

the lashings

no illusion of ecstasy

to be found

my breasts tingle

masochistic desires

weals of discipline

a token of love

an open sky surrounds

time has stopped

my freedom granted

wet and throbbing

moans of pleading

a quick tug, hard

pleading for more

a starburst of light

back again into the dark

Fallen Leaves

Copyright - November 15, 1997

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Fallen Leaves

Warm air and sunshine give daytime strength.

Clinging to the twogs that keep them safe.

A security that lasts but a few months each year.

Cooler air at night prepares them for their destiny.

Frostbit and cold shocks them from their secure places.
Once fallen to the ground, different routes to be taken.

To be pasted on paper hanging as a project in a classroom.

To hear the laughter of children playing.
To smell the landfill from inside a trash bag.

Some end up in fires permeating the air.

A scent imprinted in the brain forever.

Only to bring back memories year after year.

Leaves . . . . . begin in the spring.

Stay vibrant throughout the summer.

Finally kaleidoscoping in the fall.

What beauty, what grace, blowing with the wind.

Fallen leaves . . . to begin again nex year.

A Ride To Bradenton

This morning Corky and I had business in Bradenton. It is almost a two hour drive so we had planned to leave around 8:30 am to make the 10:30am appointment.

There was fog in the air. I had mentioned to hubby that colder air was moving in and he said that there was no wind to blow it out of the air. Both comments sound logical to me. But seeing that we are in the fall season already and I believe that the universe has a way of preparing itself for seasonal changes. The air is much crisper nowadays. I saw several weaved spiders webs on scubs and tree branches. I thought the webs were neat to observe and was wondering about the life of spiders that weaved and resides on them. I enjoy looking at the countryside while riding along as a passenger. I watch the cow and bulls in the pasteurs, the birds that fly around, the way the wind moves the tree branches and grasses, and how the clouds move about. It puts me in a meditative state of mind and at this time I feel like I am part of the universe, breathing, moving and living.

We stopped for lunch at Chilis after our business was over. Corky ate boneless chicken wings with french fries and I had lettuce roll ups. Of course as usual I had a take home box. On the drive back I noticed the name of this old adobe looking building that I have always looked at as we pass through this area of the SR. The name of the place is Old Mission Winery. I would show you a picture but I didn't have my camera and most likely would not have stopped because I was not driving. There were rows and rows of grape vines on either side of the mission. It made me think of the time to come when we might plant some grape vines in our back yard. Time will only tell.

Keep a Joyful Spirit.

The Core Never Changes

Copyright - March 23, 2000

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The Core Never Changes

I am what I am today - beguiled,

and if tomorrow brings to life,

another side of me, then so be it,

the core of who I am has not changed.

The cartoon animations of being

arouses the primal instincts of survival.

The everyday frailties of being human

emerge in a multitude of emotions,

giving way to vulnerabilities,

while others thrive off of the meek,

vacillating between the plateaus.

Torn from the vernal existence of childhood

slowly stripping me of all humanities,

as each rung up the ladder fades away,

tasting sweet success, hungering for more,

leaving no tangible source for descent.

On the surface, I am but a mere mortal

gaining knowledge with wisdom,

envy snaring hate with discontent,

admiration by those seeking power,

the core of who I am has not changed.

The gnarled chapters of life become difficult

sometimes in a blind attempt to return home.

Daisy and Snowy

This morning I thought that I would take pics of our dogs.

The older one, Daisy, is an Australian Shepherd mix and has been in our household for the past 10 years. She is very much attached to Corky, my husband. She is low maintenance when it comes to attention, she has a timid personality, nice soft fluffy fur, and is an all around sweetie. She likes to chase cats. She is Top Dog in the household. Other names for her are fluffer muffin and booboodai.

The younger one, Snowy, is a poodle and has been with us for 3 years. We found him at a pet adoption agency when he was 2.5 years old. He is my spoiled little brat. We have several names for him. We sometimes refer to him as brat boy, hand ho, curly, and snowboy. He has a dominant personality and would scavenger the neighborhood if he was allowed to roam. He is not the Top Dog and Daisy puts him in his place when necessary.

Stones Of The Mind - Poem

Copyright - November 15, 1997
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Stones Of The Mind

We live heavied by the
stones of the mind,
left to be lifted by our
own personal strength.

To bring destruction
upon ourselves and othersh
is a common goal in
the unconscious mind.

When sickness takes over
the stones come alive,
hate . . . fear . . . guilt. . .
shame, and on and on.

Negative thoughts feed
into the stones,
fear being the most
staple food of them all.

To be in search of a
fix . . . . . chocolate . . .
drugs . . . alcohol . . .
sex . . . . .

Whatever the high
might be . . . . . its a
temporary pleasure
only to be diffused by time

As life's mysteries
become unfolded . . .
so be it, the stones
break into pieces.

A lightbulb illuminates
as a closed door opens,
the stones disintegrate
as love enters the soul.

Just when you think you
have cleansed your mind
of the stones, behold . . .

Look inward and you
will find some still
resting about.

Wedding Vows

These are some words that I wrote for a friend I communuicated with in South Africa years ago.

As we begin this day
You are here and I am with you.
The moments we have shared
Will become our history.
And the memory of this day
Will begin our destiny.
Our minds will embrace,
As our emotions unite.
And should we ever
come to an impasse,
We will build a bridge
Together as one.
Remember always that I love you.